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Season three came as a surprise to most of the people who worked on Family Guy since they thought it would be cancelled. They managed to get that third season, but then, of course, Fox finally canned it. The show would cause such a stir when it was released on DVD that Fox had to bring it back and it will be starting up again in early 2005. Before we knew that though, this set was thought to be the last season of Family Guy, and what a season it was.
The Main Characters
The show takes a look at the Griffin Family. There is Peter, the stupid father who says what he thinks, without thinking about what he’s saying. Lois is his wife, who stays with Peter despite his failings, but can get pissed at him, and she does, often. Chris and Meg are their two children. Chris is a rather dumb 13 year old, while Meg is usually just there, though she seems to hate her family. The youngest child is Stewie, a mere baby with a mind of his own, and who only wants to kill Lois. To round out the family, there is Brian, the talking dog who is smarter than everyone else in the family. The family can all talk to Brian, but no one can hear Stewie except for Brian. That’s about it; Peter does have 3 other friends, Quagmire, the ladies man, Cleveland, the token black man, and Joe Swanson, the crippled ex-cop.
The Setting
Quahog, Rhode Island
The Plots
The third season contained 21 episodes. I’ll include a disc-by-disc synopsis of each episode, which is a daunting task since most of the episodes contain flashback scenes with no real impact on the story, and seeing how much they can rip off other trademarks without getting sued.
---Disc One---
1) The Thin White Line
Brian is at the psychiatrist’s office and is bored with life (He’s seen Behind the Music with Leif Garrett 18 times!) and becomes a guide dog (where he explains the Blair Witch Project), then playing an old lady in chess (who wants him to kill her but was only testing him). Meanwhile, Peter is at the company picnic where the last man standing from being shot by tranquilizers wins. Peter is the last one standing of course (with about 15 tranquilizers in his back). Brian becomes a narc since his all-powerful nose can smell anything. He busts some guy with cocaine in the airport and becomes a hero, and addicted to cocaine. Peter and the family decide to go on a cruise while Joe confronts Brian about his drug problem. He comes home with a drugged out hooker and puts on the channel “Lois doesn’t know about.” Brian comes back home to his family telling him he needs some help, and Brian goes to rehab. He walks in and Peter is his roommate. He thinks he’s on vacation (and addicted to smack) and my favorite moment ensues. The leader of the rehab group asks him Peter’s name and he looks at things to create a fake name (a pea, a tear and a griffin flies by): Peter Griffin. Peter makes Brian go with him to the pregnant teens, saying the group functions are more boring than being a security guard at George Harrison’s. Brian goes and they accidentally cause 14 premature births. The leader of the rehab group chides them on their behavior but Brian’s had enough and goes home, where he announces he’s leaving. To be Continued.
Best Trademark Rip-Off: 3 this episode:
1) Brian audition with a toucan about following your nose. Funny stuff. Brian’s response to his readings, “Wow, you went really cartoony with that…I was gonna do it more like an actor.”
2) An appearance by Bullwinkle from the Rocky and Bullwinkle show.
3) Peter tells Brian he liked it more when Brian was his sidekick, and we see Peter as Letterman and Brian as Paul Schaffer.V
Best random comment: Peter: “So, I haven’t had Big League Chew in a while.” Peter said this after Brian had a drug rant.
2) Brian Does Hollywood
Previously on Family Guy (various movie/tv spoofs ensue), and Brian leaves. They get a letter from Brian, who is trying to get a job as a writer (though really he’s a waiter). They have a Kids Say the Darndest things opening (with try-outs in New York, Chicago and Quahog) and Stewie gets invited to be on the show and they go to California! Brian stays in his cousin Jasper’s apartment and he gets him a meeting with a producer. Brian and the family meet at a restaurant and Brian tells them he found his life’s calling. The producer gets him a directing gig at a porno (some guy needs fluffing and one of the cameraman says he may have a Winsock error, which is funny since I’m a tech guy). The Griffins visit Brian on the set and he demands they leave. Stewie meanwhile has his thunder stolen by Bill Cosby. Brian is also nominated for an adult film award, the Woody. He is surprised to find Lois and Peter there and he’s amazed this doesn’t offend them and that they still support him. Brian wins the award and goes back home.
Best Trademark Rip-Offs:
1) Kids Say the Darndest Things: “He said he’d kill me if I talked.” “And what did he look like.” “He had a big scare, with a big stupid doo-doo head!” “A BIG STUPID DOO DOO HEAD! (Cosby impressions ensue).
2) Cats the Musical. “It’s not the first time you’ve interrupted something.” They show Peter running over one of the cats and saying it jumped in front of him.
Best Random Moments:
1) Peter hasn’t been to CA since he lived there. He walks into Charles Manson’s house saying he’s going to Sharon Tate’s party.
3) Mr. Griffin Goes to Washington
Peter takes the day off of work and they go to the Red Sox game. He sees his boss there even though he already called in sick, so he demands him to meet him in the office. He goes there the next day and finds out Happy Go Lucky Toys is being taken over by a conglomerate, a cigarette company. The new owners gave everyone a raise and they make toys to promote smoking. He confronts them at the office (at Lois’ urging) and so they make Peter the president of the company. Peter enjoys all the perks of being president until he goes to work and has nothing to do. The tobacco company has an issue with Washington where they are trying to pass an anti-smoking law, so they send Peter Griffin there to stop that bill. Peter gets the support of all the important people but Lois goes down to stop him when she sees Stewie smoking. Lois wants him to do the right thing but Peter says he’s higher than Alyssa Milano (with live action Alyssa saying it was a cheap shot and that her agent is suing!). Peter gets all the support but then sees Stewie coughing from his smoking and gets them to pass the bill and bankrupt the tobacco company.
Best Pop Culture References:
1) The Dilbert Scene is awesome.
2) Martha Stewart as the Griffin’s maid? YES!
3) A Howard Stern reference? YES!
4) One if by Clam, Two if By Sea
The Drunken Clam, it’s Peter’s and his pal’s bar. It’s where they go to hang out. During the biggest hurricane in Quahog, the Drunken Clam is destroyed. Actually, debris is covering it, and when the boys run in, it’s taken over by Brits (or when Peter first walks in, Oh No! It’s a Gay Bar!). The sports on the TV are different (cricket) and there are no more girlie magazines in the bathroom (only David Copperfield). Turns out, the limey bastard who bought the Drunken Clam is Peter’s new neighbor. They try some other bars (The Cherry Pit, a Lesbian club), A king of the Hill rip off in front of a fence drinking a beer. They start bickering amongst themselves and decide to fight back. So they come back dressed in colonial suits but the British use their superior linguistic skills to defeat them. The boys then decide to throw all the beer from the Brit’s boat into the water and when Peter comes home drunk, they learn the Clam’s Head was burned down, and all the minutemen were arrested and put in jail. Meanwhile, the British neighbor (Nigel Pinchley) puts the moves on Lois and invites her and Stewie to his daughters, Eliza, birthday party. This occurs as Stewie tries to teach her English. The wives also investigate the Clam’s Head destruction by going over there and learn that Nigel got 5 million dollars for the Clam’s destruction. Lois and the other wives scour the place for evidence and they get Nigel to confess and they get out of jail, and the Drunken Clam comes back. Oh, and Nigel is hanged and Eliza is put in a foster home, who says she wants to kill Lois.
Best Pop Culture References:
1) Peter says thank you, God, and God says your welcome and rides away on a horse.
2) Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone in a British film…
5) And the Wiener is
The show starts off with everyone playing in the snow and skating around in a pointless (but funny) segment. Peter mentions how he beats Chris in everything but his pals tell him he’s gonna lose eventually. During the dinner, Meg tells everyone she made the flag squad and Neil tries to get Meg to go out with her. Meg goes with the popular girls but finds she’s as unwanted as ever and during the game they throw rancid meat at her. The next day, Peter beats Chris in basketball and when they go into the spa (sweat room thingie) and Peter learns Chris has a bigger wang than him, and he’s very jealous about it. He buys a car that resembles a penis as Meg is nice to the cool kids and she’s invited to their sweet sixteen. Lois tells her to exact her revenge now that she’s gotten in their good graces. Meanwhile, Peter joins the National Gun Association and Peter buys a big gun and watches a hilarious video about gun safety. Peter and Chris go hunting and almost get killed by a bear when Chris saves Peter! Peter and Chris finally bond. At the party, Meg is embarrassed again but Lois saves the day by scarring them for life, but having Quagmire crash the party.
Best Pop Culture Reference
1) Andy Capp playing darts with Peter.
2) Rudolph in a doctor’s office learning why his nose is red (a malignant tumor).
3) Stewie impersonating Shatner’s version of Rocket Man.
6) Death Lives
Peter and Lois’ anniversary is tomorrow and Quagmire got the boys a tee time to play golf. So of course Peter ditches her to play golf but leads her on a scavenger hunt. Of course, it starts raining but Peter doesn’t want to leave and gets struck by lightening and dies. Death appears and Peter has a near-death experience. Peter wants to get back in his body but Death tells him he can’t go back until he has a revelation. We go back in time to how Peter and Lois’ relationship started and how Peter was dumped in the ocean by Lois’ father and he was saved by the Navy (and Quagmire). Peter still needs his revelation and Peter strikes a deal with Death, if Peter can get Death a woman, then Death will give him his body back. Peter finally gets his revelation (he needs to be Lois more) and gets Death to bring Peter Frampton with him to play their song on the golf course, and all is good.
7) Lethal Weapons
Every autumn, bunches of annoying New Yorkers invade Quahog to see the fall foliage. On a recommendation from Joe’s wife, Lois takes a Tae-Jitsu class. Peter, Quagmire and Cleveland go to the bar but find a bunch of New Yorkers watching the Jets. Peter tries to get the New Yorkers to leave but a fight erupts and Lois kicks that guy’s ass. Lois wants to leave the class but her instructor has her put in the advanced class. She starts having lots of trouble controlling her temper. She clears out the Clam’s Head and then fights her sensei (and beats him). Lois even takes over in bed and makes Peter cry. Lois is aghast when Stewie starts being violent and they take him to a psychiatrist. They go home and role-play the person that pisses them off (which is pretty funny). It gets progressively worse until Brian saves the day with mood elevators. When Brian tells everyone their placebo’s Lois and Peter actually fight, which leads to Brian and Meg fighting and Stewie and Brian fighting. They calmed down when they got all the anger out. Peter makes fun of the network at the end in a nice swipe at Fox.
Best Pop Culture References:
1) At the Tae-Jitsu class, some woman holds a football and pulls it up (a la Charlie Brown) so she kicks her in the face.
2) When Lois is cleaning out the bar, the villains from Superman (in the black suits).
8) The Kiss Seen Round the World
The family spends a day at a shopping mall and Stewie gets a tricycle! At school, Meg sees her teacher get arrested (for teaching an evolutionary theory) and Meg sees Tom Tucker and watches him on the news obsessively. She even learns that there are two spots open for an internship and Meg gets one of the spots! Unfortunately, she learns that Neil is her partner. Meanwhile, Stewie has his tricycle stolen by a bully. Soon after, Neil and Meg go on a shoot to see a reporter murderer and when it looks like they’re gonna die, Meg and Neil kiss. Soon it’s all over TV and the only way for Meg to get it through his head that she doesn’t like him is to report it on the news. This leads to Neil jumping off a building but Meg saves him when she realizes that Tucker is a jerk. Oh Stewie got his bike back too.
Best Pop Culture References:
1) American Beauty reference with the bag flying around.
---Disc Two---
9) Mr. Saturday Knight
Peter goes to his son’s career day at school and everyone boos him because of his job. He comes home dejected because everyone else has more successful jobs than him, so Lois suggests to Peter that he invite his boss over to ask for a promotion. The boss comes over and the kids sing and dance (with Chris and Meg without their hats!) before going to bed. Mr. Weed gives Peter a promotion and Brian starts choking, so they give him the Heimlich maneuver and the food goes from Brian’s mouth into Mr. Weed’s and he dies. They play his video will and he says that the Happy-Go-Luck toy factory will be torn down to make way for the Happy-Go-Lucky terminal care center, effective immediately, so Peter is out of a job. He tries a bunch of other jobs but to no avail. Lois tells Peter to go after his dream job, a knight in the Renaissance Fair. Everything goes well until the famous Black Knight’s woman goes over to Peter and makes a pass at him. This rubs the Black Knight the wrong way and he tells Peter he’s gonna kill him if he sees him again. Peter quits the fair but they go back with his family to watch the jousting match until the Black Knight tells him to leave and calls him a fizzle! Peter jousts him for his honor back and beats him!
Best Pop Culture References:
1) Margot Kidder going crazy was pretty funny.
2) Peter’s job at the Electric Company. (f….at….fat)
10) A Fish Out of Water
Peter has been sitting on the couch for 13 days jobless and is obesely overweight now. He decides to drop his weight and become a fisherman. He buys a boat for $50,000 but a man with peg legs and arms tells him the boat is cursed. Peter buys it anyway (by taking a loan from Jim’s Bank) as Lois takes Meg to a spa to take her mind off of not going anywhere for spring break. Meg isn’t having fun at all and tells Lois that. They drive back and Lois drives to a spring break blowout. Lois is having more fun than Meg so Lois teachers her to have fun (who flashes everybody and gets arrested. Lois manages to orchestrate her and Meg’s escape. Meanwhile, Peter comes home to see all his furniture has been taking away and if he doesn’t pay in a few days, the house will be gone too. So Peter comes home and someone else is living there and he has one day to come up with $50,000. Luckily, there’s a $50,000 award for the capture of Daggermouth, the most dangerous fish. They show up and kill him (but he’s actually a robot) so the guy who created him pays them $50K to shut them up.
Best Pop Culture References:
1) Peter Griffin is a Castaway talking to Wilson (my name is Voight dumbass).
2) Wonder Twin powers ACTIVATE! (Peter and Brian).
11) Emission Impossible
Lois and Peter have to leave to be with Lois’ sister since her husband left her while she’s a few weeks away from having a baby. So they drop the kids off at Quagmire’s who never had to entertain kids before. She goes into labor and when the doctor knocks himself out (by sticking his hand into the needle bin instead of the glove bin), Peter is the one who has to deliver the baby. He loves the baby and suggests to Lois they have another baby. When Stewie hears this, he goes crazy with the idea of another baby. He decides he’s gonna stop them from having another baby. He complains of seeing the Bogeyman to stop it one night, and then builds a Peter robot, which doesn’t work either. Lois and Peter throw the kids in their rooms for the night (with another Evil Monkey reference) and Stewie has one final option, building a microscopic machine and flying into Peter to stop him from the inside. He has a half-hour to kill all his sperm (in a Star Wars like fashion) and meets a sperm that looks exactly like him and Stewie tries to kill him but finds he wants to kill Lois too and spares him. Now he wants a little brother! Stewie only has two minutes now to leave and the only way to get out is to make him cry (by singing Love Lift Us Up Where We Belong). Stewie is now rooting for them to have the baby and is pissed to hear Lois want to hold off on having the baby.
Best Pop Culture References:
1) The Smurfs!!
2) Bobby’s demise when the other kid was added to the Brady Bunch.
12) To Love and Die in Dixie
Chris gets invited to a girl’s party and decides to get a paper route to pay for her gift (perfume) and sprays it in her eyes. He meets a weird old man and sees a man hold up a convenience store and gets him put in jail by pointing him out in a criminal lineup. Of course, Peter comes in and mentions Chris’ name a few times, gives him a photo that has his school schedule and fears. The criminal escapes and says he’s gonna kill Chris. They get put in a witness protection agency and get sent into Bumblescum in the south, with an absolutely shitty house. Peter fashions his car into the General Lee and the whole family is having trouble adjusting. Peter even becomes the sheriff of the town! Nothing happens so he and Brian drink all day. Peter gets in trouble when he goes to a showing of how the Civil War went down and it’s a wee bit different from history and he points this out and gets chased away. As this happens, Chris’ friend Sam kisses him and Chris doesn’t like that. The next day he finds out she’s a girl. Stewie is having fun playing the banjo and singing with the local yokels. Meanwhile, up in Quahog, the FBI gave the criminal the location of where the Griffins are and there’s nothing they can do. The southerners help out and kill the criminal and the Griffins return home.
Best Pop Culture References:
1) Peter quitting his folk group which included Simon and Garfunkel.
2) Alf on E’s True Hollywood Story was hilarious.
3) I got blisters on my fingers! (Stewie’s Beatle reference).
13) Screwed The Pooch
The family starts off with a trip to the zoo with no real point to it. Peter is nervous about having to visit Lois’ parents. He tries to become more refined y taking French classes and going to art museums. Lois and Peter are about to leave when they find Brian masturbating. They offer to bring Brian along with them but he stays behind, until seeing the World’s Sluttiest Dogs. He goes along with them. While there, Peter makes an ass of himself and only Lois can make her father agree to let Peter play poker with them (with Ted Turner, Michael Eisner and Bill Gates) and Peter manages to fit in. Meanwhile, Brian meets Seabreeze, the prize horse, and sexually assaults her during the big race. Brian and Seabreeze run off into a sleazy motel until Lois’ father finds him and takes Sea Breeze back. Brian then sues the pops over custody of his children. Lois’ father tries to get him to testify against Brian, but Peter doesn’t. The judge lets him see the children if he gets him neutered. Brian is about to get the operation done when he finds out they aren’t his puppies (they were Ted Turner’s!) and he forego’s the operation.
Best Pop Culture References:
1) The Microsoft Signal! (a la the Bat Signal)
2) The gun in the face of Brian and Seabreeze a-la Elian Gonzalez.
3) The poltergeist scene with the chick vomiting during the trial.
14) Peter Griffin: Husband, Father…Brother?
The family goes to a high school game and Stewie wants to know how the cheerleaders can control the crowd. Peter is aghast when he hears Chris talking street and wants to get Chris back to his Irish roots. They go to an Irish museum and then look up the Griffin family history. They look through all the greats, and then find a black man in there. Peter tries to become black and Cleveland tries to help him out. He takes him to a black rally and Lois’ parents come over to learn the Puterschmidt history and Peter is surprised to learn that his black ancestor was the slave of the Puterschmidts! Meanwhile, Stewie knows what it will take to become the leader of the cheerleaders, take out the head of the pyramid. Also, Lois’s dad gives Peter $20,000 in reparation money and sees the white man keeping him down, and the black men turn on him for being selfish with the reparation money. At the game, Peter is not being accepted with anyone but a visit from Nate tells him he needs to share the money. He goes to center court during the game and decides to share it with everyone. The end credits roll with Peter rapping the theme song.
Best Pop Culture References:
1) Dennis Miller’s infamous rants that starts the show and Peter having no idea what he means.
2) Direct rip of American Beauty’s cheerleader/rose scene.
3) Stewie telling OJ that his wife his cheating on him.
4) Fat Albert and the gang showing up to cheer for Peter.
5) Peter turns his living room into Pee-Wee’s playhouse.
15) Ready, Willing and Disabled
Quahog and Spooner Street hold a charity to help a kid with an iron lung until a thief steals the money. Joe goes after him and gets the money, but the criminal got away. Everyone’s happy he got the money except for Joe, who is more concerned he let the perp get away, and he even cries about it in an awkward moment for the other guys. Meanwhile, Stewie, Brian and Meg try to decide what to do with the $26 they found. Brian says they can’t keep it in his room because of the evil monkey (and we get the evil monkey’s origins!). At the house, Peter gets coerced by his good side (who shoots his bad devil side) to go to Joe’s to encourage him, and he says he should compete in the handicapped games. Peter coaches him and then puts steroids in his water before the final race. They get famous together and Peter gets pissed when he sees Joe all over the TV and ads. He even gets his own TV movie with Tony Danza as Joe, Valerie Bertinelli as his wife, and Bea Arthur as Peter Griffin. Peter gets so pissed that at Joe’s press conference he tells everyone he put steroids in his drink. Meanwhile, a man comes to claim the $26 the kids found and as he leaves, Joe (who is a bit depressed) sees him and recognizes him as the perp he didn’t get before. He chases him down this time and thanks Peter for helping him out.
Best Pop Culture References:
1) The Flintstones reference.
2) Touched by an Angel gets seen in a different light.
3) Stewie’s scream, which is a bit, like Charlie Brown.
16) A Very Special Family Guy Freakin’ Christmas
This is Family Guy’s take on a Christmas special. Lois is in a very festive mood and tries to keep the whole family in a festive mood. Lois and Peter go to the Swanson’s but Joe is mad at the holidays since he lost the use of his legs during the season. Peter and the gang go carol singing and Lois reminds him to drop off the gift in the trunk to a charity. He comes home the next day and Lois asks him to take the presents out of the car and Peter says he dropped them all off. Only one problem, only one of the presents was for the charity, and Peter dropped off ALL the presents in there, including the ones for the family. So the family has to go back to the mall to buy the presents again. Lois stays in a festive mood despite all the bad things going on (like her turkey burning) but when she can’t the paper towels, she snaps, going on a Christmas rage and climbs up the tree to knock the star off. She finally gets in the mood after the Christmas play but the she is still shot down by a tranquilizer and stays sedated in Christmas while Peter watches Kiss saves Santa.
Best Pop Culture References:
1) Kiss saves Santa TV special.
2) Lois knocking George Bailey off a bridge.
3) Lois killing Frosty the Snowman.
---Disc Three---
17) Brian Wallows and Peter’s Swallows
The show starts with Brian talking to some ditz about music and Brian’s more refined opera and dinner tastes are too high for her to understand. He comes home and complains and Lois tells him his tastes are too high. Meanwhile, Peter watches a show of Grizzly Adams and decides he wants to grow a beer. Lois urges him to take Brian out and they go to a rock light show. Brian gets a bit drunk and drives everyone home, only to get pulled over by Joe and he’s arrested. We fast forward a month later (and Peter has a full beard) and Brian is sentenced to community service. He has to go to some lady’s house that hasn’t entered the outside world in 30 years. He complains about it during dinner with the family when a swallow lands in Peter’s beard and he’s advised he can’t disturb the bird since it’s an endangered species and if he moves it, he’ll be arrested. Brian has finally had it with his old person and just leaves and Peter finally gets the birds out, but finds there are three young birds in there now! That night, Brian watches an E True Hollywood story on Pearl Berden, a radio jingle expert who is also a great opera singer. When singing, she was booed offstage with people requesting jingle ads. Brian is smitten with her and finds out she is the old lady he’s house sitting! He rushes back and prevents her from hanging herself. This leaves with Peter not wanting the birds to leave and Brian’s burgeoning romance with Pearl, and him wanting to leave her house. Pearl leaves the house and gets hit by a bus and dies. Pearl only has a little time left with Brian and they put on some Virtual Reality glasses to envision some romantic moments as Peter lets the birds go. As far as Family Guy is concerned, it’s the most bittersweet ending, like a real TV sitcom!
Best Pop Culture References:
1) Jon-Benet Ramsey reference where Peter vows to find the killers.
2) The Miracle Worker done in binary!
3) Tons in the Brian song there’s a lot to see.
18) From Method to Madness
Brian and Lois go to a one-man show and agree it sucks and Brian finds out about an acting audition. They cut to Peter on his boat saving a naked man and he invites him and the family over for dinner. They go over and are surprised to see her and her husband are nudists. Of course, they get in as many dirty references as possible (the wife says for beer she has Busch and Busch light), and Chris is obsessed with boobies now, so Lois has to blank his mind a la Men In Black. Stewie and Brian go to the audition and Brian auditions but they kick him offstage, which enrages Stewie. He rants on stage and gets hired to the rising stars program. He gets there and one of the girls (Olivia) seems to take a particular disliking to him. Meanwhile, at the mall, Meg runs into Jeff, the nudist son of the nudists and takes a liking to him. Olivia and Stewie start feuding until Stewie learns that she and Olivia will fail if they don’t deliver at their quarterly reviews. Meg brings Jeff home and her parents freak out and make him leave. Stewie and Olivia meanwhile excel and are brought to the stage all around town. Stewie critiques Olivia and they start fighting. Meanwhile, Meg is shocked to see Jeff show up at her door and even more shocked to see her parents naked! They want to make Jeff feel wanted. Going back to Stewie and Olivia, they inevitably break up and Olivia gets all the fame and fortune.
Best Pop Culture References:
1) You are the Weakest Link, Goodbye, and Stewie’s ensuing rant.
2) Elroy Jetson and Bam Bam as grown ups.
19) Stuck Together, Torn Apart
The family goes to a local Costco type place (with hilarity all around) and Lois runs into and old friend from college. They plan to grab a cup of coffee one day as Stewie and Brian get glued together. They can get the paste to get it undone but it’ll take two weeks. Brian asks Stewie not to tell Lois since she entrusted Brian to keep an eye on him. Lois goes to meet the guy she met at Costco, Ross and doesn’t tell Peter since he gets very jealous. Peter joins the gang in Joe’s new police truck and he spies Lois with another man. Using the technology, they can hear everything she and Ross say. Peter decides to go see some of his ex-girlfriends (including Peppermint Patty and her partner Marcy) and meets some girl that’s obsessed with him, so he hires a hooker to pretend to be his ex. Lois gets outraged and they go see a marriage counselor. They decide a trial separation is in order and he stays at Cleveland’s house, then The Goldman’s, as Quagmire tries to put the moves on Lois. The Goldman’s introduce Peter to their niece and they go to a restaurant, where Quagmire has taken Lois. They both get jealous and decide it’s best if they are with each other.
Best Pop Culture References:
1) Hugh Grant in “What’s My Appeal.”
2) Pac-Man after Ms. Pac-Man left him.
20) Road To Europe
Bit of a different opening than we are accustomed too, as this seems to be a Stewie/Brian episode. Peter and Lois are enjoying a night in bed watching Kiss Forum, when they find that Kiss is coming to the Northeast for Kiss-Stock, a five-day Kiss fest. Stewie also finds out that his favorite TV show is filmed in London so he wants to go there. He stows away on a plane and Brian chases after him and gets on the plane with him. Stewie gets on the wrong plane and they end up in the Middle East. They get a camel but he dies from exhaustion in the desert. Luckily, there’s a Comfort Inn right near them and then they find a balloon, which they steal. Lois and Peter, meanwhile are having fun at Kiss-stock and see Kiss and when they put the mic in Lois’ face, she forgets the words, causing Gene and Paul to quit. Next, Brian and Stewie land in Rome, and expose the pope’s ass to the world. They take the train all over Europe and find Germany’s history doesn’t include 1939-1945 and get stoned in Sweden. Back in the US, Peter is upset at Lois for being a fake Kiss fan but then takes it back when Peter finds out that Lois knew Gene before he was famous, and he remembers her! Stewie and Brian make it to the BBC and Stewie sees his show is a fraud. He returns home dejected and refuses to watch that show anymore.
Best Pop Culture References:
1) Seinfeld and Andy Dick on the plane with Brian.
21) Family Guy Viewer Mail #1
This would be the series finale, yet no one knew it at the time. The three shorts were:
--A) No Bones About It
In this, Peter has three wishes, and the first is to see what Kelly Ripa looks like backstage, to have his own theme music, and when someone threatens to break his bones, he wishes for no bones in his body. They show Peter with his tribulations and he decides to end his life so he won’t be a burden on his family anymore. He ends up in Hollywood where he works as a landing pad for stuntmen. Peter even gets an operation to put bones in his body! And they were his family’s bones!
--B) Supergirffins.
A tanker truck with nuclear waste crashes in their front yard and when it spills on them, they all get special powers. Stewie gains telekinetic powers, Brian can make fire, Brian has super speed, Peter can morph, Lois has super strength and Meg can grow her fingernails quickly. They promise to use their powers for good, but then they do the opposite and the town tries fighting back. Mayor West even rolls around in nuclear waste and just gets lymphoma. The Griffins vow to use their powers to help out Mayor West.
--C) Lil' Griffins
A look at Peter’s life as a child. It follows a young Peter and his first meeting with Lois. To win her affection, all the kids will stay in the haunted house up the block and whoever can survive the night will be the bravest and wins Lois’ love. Neil Goldman wins, actually so Peter and Quagmire swear off women and become multi-millionaires.
Best Pop Culture References:
1) The Count from Sesame Street.
2) The whole third segment was like an episode of Little Rascals.
Season 3 Review
The season started off very strongly with the two-part arc involving Brian. The episode debut is still one of the funniest that they’ve cranked out and the ending episode put on a nice book end on the story. They were able to create some pretty good stories while still keeping it edgy and funny. The first two episodes are definite winners and the streak really continues from there. Season 3 was a huge step up from Season 2 in my opinion and in the face of all the adversity the writers were facing, never knowing if they’d be cancelled, they whipped up some marvelous episodes. The writing was much better, as actual stories were written that always featured three or more subplots merging together at the end (a la Seinfeld) and one need look no further than Brian Wallows and Peter’s Swallows to see how great the writing could be. There were very few misses this season. I didn’t really care for the Reader Mail #1, but it was a departure from what they were doing and I appreciate it for what it was trying to do, but it didn’t seem that great to me. Fish out of Water was also completely forgettable. The hits were much better though, like the two-parter that opened the season, the Christmas Special, and From Method to Madness are all great. The show was building some serious momentum when it was unceremoniously canned, and I hope what they were building up here can follow into the new seasons that will air in early 2005.
DVD Features
A) Extras
---Disc One---
1) Feature Commentary on Episode 3
The commentary is done by: Seth McFarlane, Craig Hoffman, Chris Sheridan and Alex Borstein. Alex does her man voice in the early goings of the commentary. Peter is a big Sox fan and they mention some funny things at the baseball field (like Jeremy the wheelchair boy from the episode Lying, Dying…) and they mention that the Taco Bell dog does Mr. Weed. Alex did the voice of Aunt B but she never saw the Andy Griffith show and just did voices until Seth said it was about right. Seth is complaining about becoming his father (using the same sentences his dad used). Seth starts educating us using Stewie’s voice. Alex is Martha’s voice and they mention Martha’s legal problems as Alex says she wishes Family Guy was still on the air so they could nail some people now (and of course, it’s coming back) and Seth makes a joke about nailing Shakira. Peter going to Washington is a direct rip off of “That Girl” which I have no recollection of. Alex says they had to pay for the rights, but Mad TV could never get rights to anything. Seth says it cost about a million dollars to make an episode and they joke they are happy it’s off the air. Of course it’s coming back! The guy who did the voice in school house rocks actually did the voice of the bill on this episode. Barbara Mandrell was originally the one that Peter took the cheap shot at instead of Alyssa Milano, but more people would know Alyssa. Unfortunately, they left the name Barbara Mandrell in the script so when they showed up, Alyssa said she guess she’s Barbara Mandrell.
2) Feature Commentary on Episode 6
The commentary is done by: Seth McFarlane, Daniel Palladino, Mike Henry, Lori Alan, and Gene Lautenburg. Mike writes this episode. They said this is the second time they recorded this commentary because Mike was too offensive last time. Lori asks if Seth ever gets sick of his own voice and he says it makes him ejaculate in the shower when he sings. They talk more about the deleted commentary (with the definition of blumpkin) since Mike will get in trouble with his mom! Death is played by the voice of Adam Corrola (from Love Line and the Man Show) and Death’s mother is done by Estelle Harris (George’s mother from Seinfeld). The singing sequence on the boat was done by Seth’s dad since, “they had no fucking money,” for singers. They talk about the sound effect of Quagmire’s penis flopping about when he shakes his body and Seth simulates the sound. The woman who Death is after is played by a, “Hot Jewess,” as Lori’s Judaic roots pop up and Mike Henry does the Cleveland voice. They mention that Frampton is actually playing himself on this episode and this rendition is actually his own. Seth asked Peter to change the words, which is a rock faux pas, and he called Seth daft apparently.
---Disc Two---
1) Feature Commentary on Episode 9
The commentary is done by: Seth McFarlane, Mila Kunis, Daniel Palladino, Steve Callaghan and Seth Green. They mention the changing background on the news shot. They talk about the Electric Company and Mila has no idea what it is, showing how young she is and how old the other guys are. Mila calls the guy who made her sing an asshole and says she sounds like shit. The song is a rip of The Sound of Music and they still wonder how they got the music to use it, but they had to take a fart joke out of it. The downstairs bathroom was actually added for this episode, and the dog death was done by Jimmy Kimmel. Mila starts mentioning nipples, which causes a bit of a row. Cleveland Steamer is an actual thing (have sex with someone then shit on their chest). The Knight is actually Will Ferrell (I knew his voice sounded familiar!). They start talking about Small Wonder and Seth Green actually screen tested for that to Mila’s disbelief. They then start talking about Gary Glitter being an interesting character (referring to his kiddie porn arrest). They end talking about the medieval theme done at the end.
2) Feature Commentary on Episode 15
The commentary is done by: Seth McFarlane, Seth Green, Daniel Palladino, and Allison Adler. Right as this starts, Seth gets a call from one of the Family Guy writers. They talk about Stewie’s blossoming homosexuality (and Green comments, full-blown). Mila even shows up during the recording. Someone asks if Joe is active down there and Seth M says they won’t be around the bush and say he can’t a hard on and Seth G says Joe doesn’t beat around the bush anyway. One of the writers mention that he wrote an episode of Who’s the Boss (Angela’s and Tony’s first date) and it’s really Valerie’s and Tony’s voice. Again during the show, Seth’s M cell phone goes off. Pretty bad commentary compared to the other three so far.
---Disc Three---
1) Never Before Aired Episode
The episode that Fox pulled at the last minute, When You Wish Upon A Weinstein. Peter gives away Lois’ jar of money for volcano insurance. Meanwhile, Meg’s glasses breaks and Lois gets pissed when she finds out Peter wasted the money. Peter hangs out with the guys in the bar and finds out all their Jewish accountants got them a big tax refund. Peter goes home and wishes for a Jewish man. The next day, a Weinstein shows up at his door. He helps Peter get the money back and balance the checkbook. Peter even goes to the Temple with Weinstein, with Ben Stein playing the rabbi. Weinstein finally leaves but Peter found the key to Chris’ success; turn Chris Jewish! They head off to Vegas for a quickie Bar Mitzvah and Lois goes after them to stop it. She stops it and manages to offend the Jewish people and the Griffins are chased off. Nothing too offensive to cause it getting canned.
Best Pop Culture References:
1) Luke Skywalker doing laser eye surgery.
2) A Seinfeld reference.
3) Woody Allen penning a black man’s rant.
4) Indiana Jones!
5) Optimus Prime is Jewish!
6) Brides of Christ guided by the Penguin.
7) William Shatner performs The Fiddler on the Roof.
2) Feature Commentary on Episode 17
The commentary is done by: Seth McFarlane, Seth Green, Daniel Palladino, Allison Adler and Walter Murphy. The piano bit in the beginning was from the Music Man. They argued over how long the beard should be and they joke about the black / white judge. Adam West is talked up as being a really cool guy and how he never complained about the content. Seth mentions how long people will listen to their silence and mention that Alex does the voice of Pearl. They mention the Dennis Hopper commentary on Easy Rider saying he doesn’t remember that and how it seemed like he was watching it for the first time. Seth M says they had to change the coloring of Boba Fett due to legalities and Seth G says that everyone watching would notice how wrong it is. Apparently, McFarlane is stuck in a time warp that stops at 1984. Standards and Practices had a problem with the noose around her neck, yet had no problem with the dog/human relationship. They showed the Twin Towers and in later versions it was erased, as well as Bush with the beer bong. Everyone tells Seth M how he kicks ass with his singing and the last note someone had to squeeze his balls for it.
3) Feature Commentary on Episode 22
The commentary is done by: Seth McFarlane, Ricky Blitt, Mike Barker, and Dan Povenmire. They talk about how this was never aired especially since it got through everything and was cancelled right until the end. They also complain how TV’s taken a step backwards (compared to All in the Family) and that things are taken off the air for the wrong reasons. Ricky also calls out some executives at Fox who pulled this off (and Seth tells him to back off since he still has a contract, of course, then the show was cancelled and then brought back again). They actually sent this to some rabbis (one a monkey apparently) and it was rabbi approved since Peter learns his lesson again. Ricky complains about the Fox people taking it off the air and Seth tells him to cool it the fuck off. Pretty funny stuff. Then someone tells him that one thing is not funny, pirating these DVD’s. There was a gag that when Peter first discovered Weinstein, it was like ET. He rolls a ball in and it comes back out, then he rolls a quarter back and it doesn’t come back. They make fun of the Catholics and Seth says he’s sick of their bullshit. The sign language was actually accurate and someone pipes in that he thought they were making fun of deaf people. Someone says, you find me a poor Jewish person; I’ll show you his Catholic birth certificate. Ricky says he did the voice of one of the yokels and then he did the voice of George Costanza, and Seth says does he want to admit to anything else. He says he masturbated 7 days in a row as masturbation talks abound.
4) Deleted Scene Animatics (16:35)
An incredible 28 animatics here.
---A) Kiss Seen Round the World (:36)
There’s one animatic called, “Inside Meg’s Head.” This is the rough animation of it with Meg thinking she doesn’t stand a chance as Lois and Santa Claus wish her luck.
---B) Mr. Saturday Night (:56)
Two animatics for this episode; “Peter Talks to Kids(:22),” and “Peter Meets Chevy(:34).” Peter talks to kids about where kids come from (funny), and Chevy is about Peter meeting Chevy Chase, which is also funny as Chevy’s in an accident and Peter thinks he’s joking.
---C) Fish out of Water (:54)
Three animatics here; “Griffin Players(:26),” “Van Gogh Print(:11),” and “French Joke(:17).” Griffin players are Stewie and Brian doing a play for Peter. Van Gogh print is really nothing as Stewie compares it to a Peter drawing. French joke is a French joke with people laughing.
---D) To Live and Die in Dixie (:56)
This includes “Alf(:34),” and “Stewie’s Banjo(:22).” Alf is an Alf reference where he says Pastrami tastes like cats and they find out he’s a puppet. Stewie’s Banjo is his song where women look better when inebriated.
---E) Screwed the Pooch (1:50)
Four animatics for this episode called: “Chris and Gorilla(:16),” “Penis Jar(:31),” “Do The Airplane(:39),” and “Brian’s Secret Job(:24).” Chris and Gorilla is Chris talking to a Gorilla and the Gorilla tells him to kill the president. Penis Jar is Quagmire, Peter and Cleveland making fun of Brian for jerking off, and Quagmire remembers the first he was caught, when he was in the womb. Lois asks how he can make Peter feel better and he says to do the airplane. Lois gets her father to have Peter join the poker game when she mentions she knows her retarded brother really didn’t fall through the ice. Brian’s secret job is how he gets his money (he’s an assassin).
---F) Peter Griffin: Husband, Father… Brother? (1:13)
Two animatics here; “Stewie and the Cheerleaders(:31),” and “At the Library(:42).” Stewie and… is about Stewie infiltrating the cheerleader ranks. At the Library is more about the library scene with Peter asking the librarian for books by people with funny names (Harry Nutz) and the librarian giving him a Harry Nuts book.
---G) Ready Willing and Disabled (3:23)
Another four animatics on this ep; “Iron Lung(:41),” “Car Wash(:31),” “Veterans’ Hospital(:39),” “Special Peoples’ Games(1:33).” This is Peter talking about how they met the Iron Lung boy. Car Wash is Quagmire adoring Lois washing the car and Cleveland Jr. having fun with a hose. Lois saying Peter is insensitive and Peter going to a veterans’ hospital and making fun of them losing Vietnam. Peter sees a commercial for the special peoples’ games and all other things for the special peoples’ games and not suggesting it since he’s stupid.
---H) Brian Wallows and Peter’s Swallows (2:02)
“Tickle Monster(:19),” and “Brian’s DUI(1:43).” Peter trying to cheer Brian up by tickling him. More with Brian being pulled over (Joe pulling him over then falling out of the car and crawling to the back to get his wheelchair. They show Brian doing some tests, and passing them all, until Joe tests his urine and arrests him.
---I) From Method to Madness (:37)
“Peter on the Sun(:14),” and “Brian’s Autograph(:23).” Peter on the sun is Peter trying to become the first man to walk on the sun. Brian’s Autograph is Stewie asking for his autograph then saying how vain he is.
---J) Stuck Together, Torn Apart (2:04)
4 animatics on here; “Gynecologist(1:00),” “Nipples(:13),” “Taxi(:28),” and “Quagmire’s Date with Lois(:23).” Gynecologist is Peter learning what exactly Gyn’s do, and Peter gets a little jealous and he told him not to look at it. Nipples is Peter playing with his nipples as Meg walks in. Taxi is Peter leaving to his cab and driving across the street. Quagmire’s date with Lois is pretty funny as he manages to see a guy’s crotch then land in one.
---K) Road to Europe (:59)
Only one on here called “Paris Graveyard(:59).”
This is Brian and Stewie going to a Paris graveyard to visit Jim Morrison’s grave as Stewie pretends to be a gay lover of Oscar Wilde’s on his grave.
---L) Family Guy Views Mail #1 (1:06)
The last one called; “Gleason Zombie(1:06).” This is one of Peter’s wishes where he wishes Gleason wasn’t dead and he comes back as a zombie and bites off Lois’ head and Stewie blowing him up with a rocket launcher.
5) Pilot Pitch “Family Guy” (7:15)
A very rough animated draft of the Family Guy pilot. It has some different color schemes, different voices, and it looks like different animation altogether. Meg is a totally different voice (neither Lacy Chabert or Mila Kunis). Chris is not voiced by Seth Green either. The Quagmire character is just some random person, and Cleveland looks slightly different too. Mr. Weed’s voice is different too. The newscasters are the same, but the voices again are slightly different. The plot is slightly different too, as Peter in the aired version didn’t tell Lois, but in this he does. Very crude version, but fun to watch it and spot the differences.
6) Uncensored (6:49)
Seth talks about this being one of the edgiest shows on TV, and other cast members speak of its boldness with interviews from Seth Green, Mila Kunis and Alex Borstein as well. McFarlane talks about the Weinstein episode in length. Quagmire was to be an anachronistic 50’s guy and being an awful human, plus we get to see Seth doing Quag’s voice. He talks about having to trade words with others and they weren’t allowed to bleep out words and only did it once. They got in the Stewie bleep because they thought they were cancelled and they let them have it in. He says if he could go back, he would take out some stuff, but he loves it the way it turned out in the end.
7) Series Overview (17:16)
This is a standard featurette on the series. Seth talks about getting $50,000 to do the pilot (which is small in comparison to the million one usually gets), and doing it on his kitchen table. Seth also talks about all the characters. He talks about Peter being all the loudmouthed New Englanders he knew. Lois came alive due to Alex’ voicing of her. Meg is the loser adolescent who doesn’t fit in. Chris is indescribable to Seth M. and Seth Green auditioned for it and killed them since he was so funny and he got it. Brian is the talking dog that doesn’t want to be there and wants to be in another family. Stewie is the Napoleonic guy who hates the world, Lois in particular. They mention his gay tendencies and they did an episode where he realizes he’s gay. They then move from the characters into the voices. I love watching the actors doing the voices and Seth got the Peter voice from a security guard who had a heavy RI accent that made him shit with laughter. Brian is Seth’s normal voice. Stewie is a Rex Harrison take off voice. Seth Green does the awesome Chris voice and he Green talks about the character of Chris. Mila Kunis (of That 70’s Show fame) does Meg and she talks about Meg and her condom hat. Alex Borstein is Lois (and she demonstrates the voice) and how brazen she could be and does about 70% of the voices. He then talks about some of the other actors on the show, then the special guest voices. They then move to the great Family Guy fans that kept the show on the air, and it was the biggest fan push the networks had ever seen. Seth also applauds the censors for understanding what the show was (edgy) and not trying to change that. Everyone closes out by saying how great it was to work on the show and Seth finishing by how people will never ask him anymore when its coming out on DVD then asking for VHS copies of all the shows.
B) Audio/Video
The sound is in Dolby Surround but really isn’t needed, since it’s just a TV show with no need for surrounds. The video is fullscreen. The video does suffer a bit from animation problems, and sometimes seems to freeze a bit. The colors are bright, but this is really just a simple TV show cartoon transferred to DVD. It’s a bit better than TV, which is all we can ask for.
Audio: 6.0
Video: 6.5
C) Liner Notes
There are no liner notes about the DVD, though there is a pamphlet with the Fox DVDs. The DVD’s all come in very thin slipcases, with episode listings on the back with brief summaries on the episodes and show which ones have commentary.
D) Easter Eggs
None.
Overall Review
This is a huge step up from the first DVD series. The shows are better than volume 1, and the extras are better than volume 1, too. The episodes I reviewed before, so let’s take a look at the extras. In Volume 1, there was about 10 minutes worth of extras, with most being commercials hyping the first show. The commentaries were also pretty dismal too. Here, the extras are much better. The two featurettes trump anything on V1, plus we get 28 animatics/deleted scenes, the series pitch, and a deleted episode. The commentaries are the area that V2 improved the most, however. The long periods of silence are gone (except for really one of them), and all of them were greatly enjoyable, especially the Weinstein commentary. If you missed Family Guy when it came on the air the first time, you must pick this set up to see how great and edgy these shows were. Highly Recommended set.
Overall Rating
9.5
10.0 Perfect
9.0-9.5 Near Perfect, Highly Recommended
8.0-8.5 Really good disc, Recommended
7.0-7.5 Good DVD, Mildly recommended
6.0-6.5 Above Average DVD. Mildest of mild recommendations
5.0-5.5 Decent all around disc, but catch it on TV
4.0-4.5 Great Movie but horrible DVD
3.0-3.5 Horrible movie but great DVD
2.0-2.5 There’s at least some merit to this DVD, but not much.
1.0-1.5 Horrible DVD, don’t even bother
0.0-0.5 Worst DVD ever
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